my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
