apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
