Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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