i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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