just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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