yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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