We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I think pants incapable of making pants work
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
