Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
