you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
