I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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