I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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