she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
