haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
