My nipple is on Facebook.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize