everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
We are two peas in an std pod
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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