I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Randomize
