So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
