you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize