Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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