Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
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Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
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That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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