Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize