Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
