Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
