Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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