Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
