i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
