he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
