Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
