when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I think your dad took our porno
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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