OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
