what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
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