The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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