i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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