once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
try to milk me bitch
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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