Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
