I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
