I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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