Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
