Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
