My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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