I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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