You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize