I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
