my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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