He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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