hotel room ftw
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize