"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize