He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
