My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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