new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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