Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize