Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
