so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I have aggressive nipples.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
