We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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