I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
