So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
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