this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Panties = found
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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