that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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