Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i came on her dog
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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