the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
