You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
