Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
