just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
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One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
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The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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