He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
tell me about the eggs
Randomize