So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize