Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
