and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
