I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
